Best Negotiation Books

The 3-d in the book title stands for 3-dimensional negotiations. The 1st dimension is negotiation tactics. That's what you are applying while you're sitting in a negotiation (on the table so to say). And the 2nd dimension covers deal-design aka added value . Main focus of this book yet lies on the 3rd dimension, the setup. The authors prove, that negotiation preparation is crucial for great successes. 

It also covers a lot of basic terms. For example the BATNA - Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement. Or the ZOPA - Zone of Potential Agreement. You will find these terms in other publications, too.

I liked that the authors have such a strong focus on negotiation preparation, aka the "setup". I am still surprised, that the same people who say "everyone could do procurement" don't prepare at all. 

This work covers some research topics for preparation. Spend with this supplier, a personal profile of my negotiation counterpart, financial figures. This should be a no brainer for pro negotiators. Lax and Sebenius give you a good blueprint you can follow.

The term "move northeast" refers to adding value to a deal without giving to much of your own assets away. Sometimes items that are cheap for you are very valuable to the other party.

Always try to find these items. Enrich deals with things like references, management introduction or similar. Easy for you but important to your counterpart.

You could phrase this as "start with the end goal in mind". Get clear for yourself, what is the best outcome you want to achieve.

From this point onward, you draw a map with certain strategic elements to where you are now. 

Very important here is that you check if your underlying assumptions are still valid. Re-map if not!

For me this negotiations book was relying too much on "win-win". Or said in another way: everyone always wants to achieve the best outcome.

I found that this is not true in every case. Sometimes people push hard because they love the feeling of winning, no matter if it's a real win or not. In these cases ZOPA (zone of potential agreement) may not work for example.

By the way, this is also true for internal team members.

The concept presented in this negotiations book doesn't give enough attention to psychology. I would love to see different approaches for different personality types for example.

A dominant counterpart may react differently to a tactic than an introvert. How do you tailor your tactics to these different personality types?

If you want to really shine in your profession, this masterpiece is one of the best negotiation books. Pulitzer-Prize winner and bestselling author Stuart Diamond has an amazing track record. 

His approach is a holistic view of things. There's not the one negotiation trick he focuses on - as in so many other bad negotiations books. It's a multitude of topics. Things like different angles, emotions, increasing flexibility. And last but not least getting a feeling for how the other party thinks.

You may think that all men and women are born equal. And that is fine from a political point of view but is a very bad approach for a negotiation. 

You must consider, that our assumption of what the other party wants is wrong. Therefore they do not per se value the same things that are important to us. If we embrace growth it does not mean that it's of the same importance for them.

I like, how Professor Diamond phrases this. He calls it misperception and miscommunication. However, he shows a very decent way, on how to improve here.

His initial "red dot" example at the beginning of the chapter is amazing!

I like the real life examples that the author applies. Because they focus on giving value to the relationship. In other words, they are very hands-on and understandable. 

For example there is this one case, where he mentions a negotiation with a friend.

We know each other now for five years. Do we want to throw our investment in these 1,500 days away because of one bad day?

An underlying theme in this book is to put things into perspective and the story above is a good example of it.

I liked the idea of different personal styles. As per Professor Diamond's perception there are 5 major styles:

• Assertive
• Collaborative
• Compromising
• Avoiding
• Accomodating

He describes each in a little bit more detail. More important the author gives an insight in when to "use" them in your communication. However, he also covers which pitfalls they might have.

Sometimes the "value the other person" approach is to soft and too fluffy for my personal liking. There are times, where you apply force to the other party. 

Yes, this may sound very aggressive. But in some business situations, aggression is what you need. If you never ever want to apply force, procurement is the wrong career path.

Quadrant / Step 1 - Problems & Goals

1. Goals: What are they?
2. Problem(s): Which obstacles along the way?
3. Parties: Who's involved?
4. What if no deal?
5. Preparation: How to prepare?

Quadrant / Step 2 - Situation Analysis

1. Needs: Who needs what?
2. Perceptions: How do we see each other?
3. Communication: What's our "style"?
4. Standards: Who has which?
5. Re-examine goals: Watch over the first 9 steps - any changes?

Quadrant / Step 3 - Operations & Risk Reduction

1. Brainstorm: Who needs what?
2. Incremental: How to reduce risk?
3. Third parties: Who influences (and is not at the table, see below)
4. Framing: What's our context?
5. Alternatives: Which items can we deal?

Quadrant / Step 4 - Actions

1. Best options: Where are our priorities?
2. Who presents: What are the roles?
3. Process: What rules to follow?
4. Commitments: Which promises can we give?
5. Next steps: How to proceed?

In a certain way this publication is an extension to 3D negotiations. Because it covers a lot of the concepts from there. Especially the preparation part looks deep into BATNA, ZOPA and Co.

It has a strong focus on preparation which is a good thing. 

This book gives a hands-on way to apply theories in real life negotiation situations.

This negotiations book puts strong emphasis on making the first offer and making it right. The first offer sets the reference for all other discussions with your counterpart. It's also known as framing or anchoring. We have covered the concept of framing also in this post.

It is especially interesting that the authors "help" you on how to structure your first offer. As a result, it sets you apart from all these "wannabe" negotiators. You know, the folks who shout out unsubstantiated first offers. 

In another of my top recommendations for the art of negotiation (see my review below) we find 6 factors of taking influence:

This negotiations book from Deepak Malhotra shows real-life applications of them. See them in action with a focus on deal making.

This negotiate book has a very strong section about packaging. This means that you combine certain aspects of a deal with other aspects. 

Not only does the work show a good way on how to structure those deals but also how to execute. By the way: this is yet another preparation task. It also indicates when it makes sense (hint: not every time).

Professor Malhotra covers a lot of the things that we have seen and read elsewhere. The concepts of BATNA or ZOPA as well as the influencing factors are not groundbreaking new.

#5 in my list of best negotiations books should spend less time on explanations. It could reference more to other negotiations books. And it should focus even more on how to use the tactics.

Not reading these books in the right order might confuse you. Therefore you should read these books in a certain order. This is especially true for this book.

Read this work to get a first understanding and then the others to deepen your knowledge. I would suggest to read them in this order:

1. Negotiation Genius (this book)
2. Negotiating the impossible (the sequel to this book if you want)
3. 3D Negotiations
4. Influence
   

This is the second book by professor Malhotra, that made it to the list of best negotiations books. That is for a reason. In this book he uses the 3 concepts to solve even the deadliest deadlocks. They are framing, process (and the control of it) and empathy.

Applying these techniques will make you a legend in your organization. More often than not, you will be able to find a way forward in situations that others find impossible to solve.

This term means that you claim something without being too specific. That sounds counter intuitive first but it helps. 

Be unspecific so you do not loose face and can "stay at the negotiation table". Otherwise you have to push through the statement you once made.

The author shows ways to negotiating agreement without giving anything. Because you don't have anything to give.

Another thing that is quite unique about this book is that it puts such a strong emphasis on process. Most importantly in these deadlock situations. Process in this negotiations book means the process of negotiating itself. 

The unique approach suggests that you align on process with your counterparts. Do this before you even start negotiating. You can consider process here as a negotiation tactic itself. This gives you a frame of reference that both parties can rely on.

A thing I liked in this book are the process questions. Use them as a checklist. They make an easy to apply negotiation tool.

Once you and your counterpart are clear about the process, you get to the core of the negotiation.

The book has lots of examples from politics. This ranges from the US constitution to the Paris peace treaty after the Vietnam war. 

Sometimes I was not sure if this applies to business situations. It's a difference - from my point of view - if you want to achieve 8.7% price discount or if you want to end a war.

The author also draws conclusions from these situations. But he has not executed these - historic - negotiations himself. So it's more an academic view.

Some of the conclusions from the view of historic examples are questionable. I would have come to a different conclusion.

Here's an example. The motivation of the Soviets in the Cuban Missile Crisis is questionable. But that's my personal view and of course I have also not been part of Kennedy's negotiation team.

Professor Cialdini covers important preparation steps. Every pro negotiator should take these before executing the attack. 

You not only need to capture attention to achieve the best possible results. You also have to channel it in the right - desired - direction.

Preparation here means time spent BEFORE you make your request to your counterpart. This could be off but also on the negotiation table.

Every communication nowadays is facing a huge challenge: attention span decreases. To get and to keep attention becomes very important, especially in negotiations.

I like that this "Pre-Suasion" appeared "in time" for me. Although there are a lot of great tactics around these days, it becomes harder and harder to apply them.

Receiving the focus of your counterpart is crucial. And then to "move it" in your desired direction is key to negotiation success.

In his book "Influence" Cialdini put huge emphasis on providing battle-tested examples. The same here. And lots of them.

His first work was kind of scientific and provided great insights. But this negotiations book  - 20 years later - is tailored to businesses and communication in general.

One example I loved was that of a fire insurance sales guy. Before posing his request, he always mentioned that he forgot something in the car and wants to get it. He asked the following. Would it be ok, if he gets the keys to the front door? The house owner then doesn't have to stand up to open the door and he can get his materials? The success rate with house owners who allowed this was through the roof. It worked so well because giving someone access to your house is a huge proof of trust.

These examples are called a "pattern interrupt". This also helps to gain (and keep) attention. I talked about this above. From this work you can discover, why these pattern interrupts are so beneficial.

If you combine both of Cialdini's works from this list of best negotiations books, you will hold a heavy weapon in your hand. Make sure to use it the right way.

Influence gives you guidance about the what and how to apply it to your communication. Pre-Suasion helps you to execute your strategies at the right time. It also helps to prep your counterpart for it.

This provides a good theoretical timeline on how to apply the ideas from both books together, too.

The combination of Pre-Suasion and Influence is a well designed and subtle approach. It can become difficult if you have people in your negotiation team, that tend to be loud. Through their interruptions they take the carefully established attention away from you.

You can always do a de-briefing but especially with very "loud" people this only goes a certain way.

Cialdini knows, that his work gets applied to business scenarios. He could have spent a little more time on how to brief people upfront. This helps them to play their role and not blast our tactics. Or you give them my list of best negotiation books and act while they read. 

This work is a masterpiece in this list of the best negotiation books. You will find a treasure chest full of negotiations gems in it. Uncovering a bluff. Labeling their feelings. Getting the right form of "yes" or bending the counterparts reality, this book has it all. It is especially helpful, when you're in the process of negotiating agreement without giving too much. Or anything at all (because it's impossible).

It's a good front to back approach for all kinds of communication situations. Additionally, the author provides interesting insights how a hostage negotiator works.

I have a favor for thrillers and crime. So reading a negotiations book from a FBI hostage negotiator was a no-brainer. 

It's amazing to see how the author translates his strategies into business environments. Communication strategies with people's life depending on it applied to deal making.

I liked the fact that a lot of today's negotiations take place in a virtual environment, too. This is very comparable to talking to a kidnapper via phone.

Discovery: you can (and should) mirror, even if you can't see the counterpart.

The examples in place #2 in my list of best negotiations books might seem very exotic at first. You rarely negotiate in business as if your life depends upon it. But Chris has an amazing deduction chain that leads to core human belief systems. You can then apply these in business situations.

For example finding the "black swan". A black swan is an unpredictable situation or influence. It's something that seems to be crucial in hostage situations. But it also happens day in day out in business. You think it's all done and suddenly, the results are in danger again. You should prepare for this and Chris helps here with his tools.

Some of the tactics, that Chris describes in this book are very counter-intuitive. Getting and collecting "no's" or doing an accusation audit are not seen very often.

But he explains why not every "yes" is worth the same (bye, bye, "Getting to Yes" by Roger Fisher & William Ury). Instead he suggests that blaming oneself helps in posing the right anchor.

The examples in the book go much deeper than in other negotiations books. And they lead to better results, too.

Additionally these unexpected actions work great as pattern interrupts. By now, you know why this is a great opportunity.

Chris claims to be the inventor of tactical empathy. He may have invented the label for it but the underlying concept is not new. This can lead to mistrusting the author and not trying out his otherwise great practices.

Within the book, the author offers extra material on his website. But only if you give them your email address. The material is not bad but it's not awesome as well. The book itself is much better than the extra material. It also feels somewhat unstructured. 

Sooner or later they start pushing hard their online courses to you. These come at a ridiculous high price (like $2,000+ for a 20 video / few hours online course). Here they try to sell their brand, this somehow is too pushy for me.

Here is number 1 on my list of best negotiation books. This work from the 80s covers how we can gain influence over others (and others over us). It follows a hands on way to describe the 6 influenceing factors that are hard-wired in us. 

More than that it also shows, why we often "tick" no different than animals. They react with their instincts and so do we. However, this best negotiation book doesn't end there. You discover, when others apply these techniques on us.

It's interesting that we usually can't escape our reactions when the instincts kick in. And this top recommendation in my list of best negotiation books explains why.

Professor Cialdini discovered that these 6 methods of influence are deeply anchored in our brains:

If you need scientific proof for any of the "theories" covered in this list of best negotiation books, this is the book to get it. Cialdini did a long self experiment to come up and discover these eternal truths.

He has amazing examples from all walks of life. For example social proof. Did you know that canned laughter proves to make TV shows perceived as more humorous.

Did you know why fundraising dinners are so successful? Why do the important presentations always happen during or after the meal? Reciprocity!

Could you translate this into negotiations with your suppliers?

Cialdini covers the 6 measures of influence with in-detail show cases. Translate this into everyday negotiation tactics and you will succeed. Read below to see some of them in action.

#1 in my list of best negotiation books explains very well, not only what works and the how but also why. Why do some things (like the little word "because") work so well?

You get an insight look into how our brains work. Some would say, that they are "too experienced" for this but - more often than not - these principles work. 

Why do we sometimes react to certain principles like the famous Pavlov's dog? This book covers it in detail. This is also the reason, why these tactics are applicable to our negotiations.